Dog Eaters

Let me dish out an unpalatable 'mann ki baat' of mine, which I have never shared with anybody so far in fear of being branded as a racist. I have always looked down upon those who eat only vegetarian meals. I have always used a snide term 'ghaas phussh' to describe vegetarian dishes. In fact, I have a bizarre theory on the repeated defeats of Hindu kingdoms by the foreign invaders, or the lacklustre performance of our athletes in Olympics. By now you must have understood that I have attributed it to the eating habits. In my view, eating meat was the only gateway of having a strong body and an aggressive mindset. In short, I was a vainglorious meat-eater. A weekend without mutton biryani and chicken rezaala from a famous restaurant was simply unthinkable for me. But very recently, the shocking revelation of dumping ground meat has shattered the biryani-loving people like me.

A very minor incident had led to this shocking revelation. There was a starting problem of a car near the Budge Budge dumpyard. The driver wanted the help of the locals to push the car. While doing so, the local youths noticed that a very foul smell was emanating from the car. Getting curious, they found out that there was large amount of carcasses inside the car. They handed over the driver to the local police station. When he was grilled, he revealed that the meat was going to a cold storage in Rajabazar area in Kolkata. But, he didn't reveal the purpose. The police started investigation, and found that a well-organised racket, headed by Biswanath Ghorui, of adulterating meat had been operating for more than 10 years. Their modus operandi will simply shock you.

The local municipal staff would inform the linkman of this network of the new arrival of a dead animal in the dumpyard. The linkman would transport the animal by an ac car to a secret factory where a butcher would skin the animal and cut the meat. He would add preservatives to the meat. Another linkman would come and carry the meat to the cold storage, where it would be kept for sometime before finally despatched to the meat suppliers. These suppliers would sell the meat to various restaurants, hotels and fast-food factories across the entire country.

On investigation, the kingpin Biswanath, more popularly known as 'Bhagar Bishu' and 'Mangso Bishu', had revealed that every month he supplied 20 tons of such meat to the market. About 5 ton was required in West Bengal, while the rest went to the various parts of the country. He also disclosed that he purchased the meat at the rate of Rs 60 per kg, but sold it at Rs 240 per kg, that is with a hopping profit of 300%! Many reputed restaurants and hotels have been the buyers of this rotten meat. The name of a reputed manufacture of patties, which used this rotten meat, has popped up during the investigation. I can't name it here, but I am sure most of you, who are non-vegetarian, have tasted it's products. Bishu told the police that he collected carcasses from 25 dumpyards across the state.

Now, the big question is what did we actually eat, which we thought was mutton?  Cows, goats, lambs or pigs are not thrown at dumpyard. So, we are left with only dogs and cats. The number of cats is very insignificant compared to dogs. So, we can safely conclude that what we have been eating was nothing but rotten dog meat. We are all dog-eaters!

Eating dog is not a taboo in many parts of the world. In India, Nagas are well-known for eating dog meat. I have heard from a reliable source that the Naga soldiers, who were on election duty, had wiped out the local dog population in their brief stay. The tastes of dog meat and mutton are very similar. Unless you are trained, you can't distinguish between the two. Only on couple of occasions, I had a suspicion while eating mutton biryani.

Who were responsible for this gigantic amount of cheating? Surely, the evil-doers couldn't have done this without taking some important state functionaries into confidence! However, I don't think any big fish will be caught. Only a few minions will be punished for the satisfaction of public.



Now, what is the solution to prevent the repeatation of the crime? Various municipalities across the state  have been installing CCTVs in the dumpyards. Vacant posts of the food inspectors will be filled in near future. A board has been formed to inspect meat from time to time. However, I don't think any of these measures would stop the repeat of the incident in near future. The crime syndicate is too strong not to circumvent these measures. So, what is the solution? I think legalising selling of dog meat will be the solution. Bengalis are such people who can't live without meat. So, there will always be huge demand for meat. Bengalis, barring Muslims, don't eat beef. So, costly mutton won't be able to meet the demand. There will always be shortfall, and the dishonest businessman will always try to cheat. Therefore, legalise dog-eating, so that we don't have to eat rotten meat!

NB: The investigation is still going on, and everyday there has been a revelation. My blog is based on reports from a Bengali newspaper. Picture taken form the Internet.

My love for birds

Had imagination been the sky, then what would have your mind done to reach those fruits of forbidden desires? Of course, it would have flown like birds, and nibbled on those sweet fruits. Not only my mind flies like a bird, but also I had quite a few pet birds in my childhood. Some people may sniff at me for calling hen a bird. Well, they may be used as a poultry product, or they may not fly much, and their appearance may not be elegant, but they are definitely birds. I proudly announce that my first pets were hens, and I didn't eat them.


When I was around 6 years old, we kept 3 hens for supply of eggs. Throughout the day, they roamed in the backyard of our huge SDO bungalow, and before sunset, they themselves returned home. We kept them in a 3×3 wooden cubicle covered with lattice. They laid eggs there, and we locked the structure in evening. The three hens had three different colours. The biggest one was a white leghorn, while the other two were of local variety, one black and the other red. The leghorn was a prolific egg-layer, but the small black hen provided us the most tasteful eggs. Only on one occasion, we let the leghorn hatch her chicks. Generally, we utilized  the eggs for making omelettes.

My morning school ended at 10-30 AM. I didn't have many friends, and I used to spend a lot of time watching those hens. The gigantic SDO building, which was built by the British, had a huge compound which included servant quarters. Our watchman was a Nepali, and like every other Nepali his name was Bahadur. He lived in his small quarter with his large family. He, too, domesticated a flock of hens, and among them was a big, bad, red cock. You must have heard that in animal kingdom, the winner takes all. He was the winner by default,  because he was the only adult male in the flock. He took great pleasure in fecundating the entire female folk. No wonder, my 3 hens were not spared. But, as I said I was very young, I thought he was beating my hens when he was busy in the act. Unknowingly, I disturbed him, and shooed him away so many times. The love God for hens must have been very angry with me, I suspect.

During the same period, we were surrounded by a large number of pigeons. They were very fond of my father. They loved to eat biscuits from his hand. I was not enamoured with them, though, because of their habit of making their habitat extremely dirty.  Around 6 pigeons lived in a forlorn place on the stairs towards the roof. Since no body went there, it was a safe place. But occasionally, I went there out of curiosity to found the place full of poop.

My final tryst with birds came when I found Mithu. Mithu became my favourite parrot. He was long, had eye-soothing green feathers and beautiful red beak (he bit my fingers on few occasions in his early days). Red chilli was his favourite food. He could talk. I taught him several small sentences like, " Mithu bhat khabe". One well-wisher gifted him when he was just 1 month old. When he didn't learn the art of flying, he walked freely in our rooms.

He didn't die, but he left me when he became young. I became morose for almost a week. Before that final breakup, he had escaped the cage on three occasions, and had flown away. But his range had been within the vicinity of my neighbourhood. On each occasion, I could spot him, and had approached him with the cage in my hand. I had yelled at him, "Mithu come on, please enter the cage." Like an obedient boy, he obliged. Happily, we came back home.

But on that fateful day, he intermingled with a flock of parrots. Finding so many compatriots -- maybe he got his fiancee too in the flock -- he didn't look back, and left me for ever. But, after the incident, every time I saw a flock of parrots, I ran like a crazy boy, and cried his name in the hope that he would once again come back. But, that didn't happen.

After a long period, from 2004 to 2006, I had developed a love-hate kind of relationship with a pair of Indian mynah. Most of the time, it was love. The male bird was the bolder of the two. He did not hesitate to come near me to pick up the crumbs of biscuits that I offered. I had affectionately christened him Adi. I tried to learn his language. After getting acquainted with his simple language, I communicated with him in his language. For example, "P Q, P Q" in his language meant "Hello, Hello". When I mimicked him in his style, he always responded. When he became angry or tried to frighten his enemies, he would sound, "Keeeee, Keeeeee".

You might be astonished to know that he didn't like me sleeping late in the morning. If I woke at 6AM, he would be happy. He would spare me up to 7 AM. But, if I failed to wake up by that time, he would continuously call me till I responded. During noon time in holidays, he would sing songs for me. Those were very pleasing moments in my life.

Hate relationship came during their mating seasons. At that time, their first priority was to find a secured nest. They thought that the open cavity on the upper portion of the wall in my toilet, which was meant for placing an exhaust fan, was a good place to build their sweet home. Initially, I didn't object, as I loved them. But as they began to build their nest, a lot of waste materials such as dried twigs and leaves, broken comb, polythene bags etc used to fall in my toilet making it dirty. My mother strongly objected to it, and tried to shoo them away. But I prevented her, and tried to solve the problem by pasting a cardboard on the wall. Unfortunately, that didn't solve the problem, as they tried to push materials in order to expand the nest. So, I had to destroy the nest. I felt very sad, but I had no other options.

Pictures taken from the internet

What are you made of ?

Honey, what are you made of?
I threw stones at you.
I smeared you in black
But you never blinked an eye.

Honey, I am not an ordinary man
I am a man of honour.
Whoever I touch with my pen
Becomes my avid fan.

Honey, I must admit you are different
Have you fetish for only oldies?
They are so soft and meek
And don't have diamond cutters!

I admit you have the style
Panache, flamboyance and skill
I salute you from my heart
And promise not to bother again.




Pictures taken form the Internet 

Whom do you fool?

Whom do you cheat, Honey?
With two avatars at work
One very smart, the other dumb
Aren't you clever by half?

One makes us stumble
At every crooked sentence of her.
The other cosies up to you
And has a lovely demeanour.

One thinks obscurity is a virtue
And dishes up all the rubbish!
The other writes simple lines
Which you want to furbish!

One gives the oldies nicknames
And thinks herself as a Godess
The other is a simple lady
Who encourages you to progress.


Pictures taken form the Internet 

Salvation

Salvation, nirvana, hahaha
You want a piece of that?
Then relinquish all earthly pleasure
And make yourself a dumb fart.

Leave your lovely wife
Quit meat and all heavenly wine.
Sins! Leave those frigging sins
Every thing will be fine!

I am a cunning Brahmin
Don't worry about anything.
Your wife is my wife
And your treasure is all mine.

Greed is in my brain
Cheating is in my vein.
I promise your salvation
And I get my exaltation!

Picture taken form the Internet

Goodbye to a friend

In this shivering cold winter
You deserved the warmth of friendship.
In your world of emptiness
You needed a true courtship.

I knew from the days of yore
We were friends for centuries
You smelled like a jasmine
And you fulfilled my dreams.

The tears in your eyes
Broke my heart in seven.
The smile on your face
Would take me to heaven.

What a charming woman you were
Lovely and caring as a wife
How you understood every emotion
And prayed for my life?

We were getting closer
Binding our souls day by day 
The threshold of friendship and love
Was blurring in every way.

Maybe it was easy for you
To keep your mind pure
But I was the only one
To be blamed for my failure.


Picture taken from net

Padmaavat: film review

After the much hullabaloo in the media about the erotic dream of Alauddin, I was dying to watch the movie. My wife said the scene was trimmed, but I didn't believe it. When we went to see the movie on the Republic day, my heart was pumping hard to see how the petite beauty performed with the hunk in bed! But alas, not only that scene was pruned, but also there was no  skin show in the entire movie! Regarding the controversy, it is much ado about nothing. If some people's feelings were hurt, they had to be the Muslims, who have been shown in a very poor light by Bhansali. Alauddin is portrayed as a savage beast who showed no qualms about killing his close relatives and friends; treachery ran in his blood; lust was the prime mover for his invasions. On the other hand Rajputs have been shown as people of high moral values; not afraid of sacrificing life when they had to choose one between death and honour.

The character Alauddin in Padmavaat is a brainchild of Bhansali. It was non other than Bhansali who was, as Ranveer admitted in an interview, all over Alauddin's kohl-eyed, scar-faced, mane-haired rusty looks, his flamboyant dialogues, mannerisms etc. In one scene, the Sultan threw an entire bottle of scent to a slave woman and hugged her to get himself scented.  There were few sensual scenes, but the best was the scene when Malik Kafur was bathing Alauddin. Did you say homosexual? Yes, it was. As a typical trait of Bhansali films, you will be amazed by the magnificent sets, which can take you to the 1300 AD Rajputana. The war scene was also captivating.

Shova De found faults with Deepika's trainer bra and Ranveer's footwear. However, I am not that critical, and found the costumes apt. I am little disappointed with the music. Actingwise, Ranveer outdid others by miles. Shahid looked like a puny minion in comparison with him. Bhansali should have chosen a better actor who looked like a mighty Rajput! Deepika did her best, but Aditi's acting was also superb.

There is no justification for the film to be shot in 3D. In the recent version of Ben Hur, there was only one scene of chariot race which could be a lame justification for its being 3D ( I am told the original Ben Hur was also a 3D film)! But, I thought Bhansali wasted money without adding any value to the visual effects.

I am a great proponent of freedom of expression without any ifs and buts. India is a nation of composite cultures. Someone or other may always come up with hurt feelings for every creative expression of an artist. But if we are to move out of the medieval, barbaric mindset, and move towards a liberal, modern outlook, we have got to defend the right to freedom of expression doggedly. In other words, the rulers have to crush the violent agitations of loony, parochial organisations like Karni Sena. Unfortunately, we found the two major political parties keeping mum in fear of losing few votes!

I can't finish  without mentioning Swara Bhaskar's acerbic take on the film. She thought the film glorified self-immolation, and Bhansali denigrated women to the extent that made woman equivalent to vagina. Well, she has a point!
Picture taken form the Internet